17-04-23
Finally caving and actually trying to learn 3D. Only using C4D lite because it’s free with Adobe Suite, and I don’t have the will power to justify another extortionately expensive program subscription. I would ideally use Blender, because I think it’s incredible, everything a program should be in terms of being open source, community driven and free. But for some reason most studios these days ask for experience with programs worth about £300/month and a large capacity brain. If there are any studios out there reading this that want to tag me on their company licenses 😚 <3
20-3-23
Yesterday I finally watched that Bhupen Khakhar doco, and something he said in it was *cray*. It was like he took a string out of my brain, it was as though he explained a thought that I had felt but didn’t know how to articulate, or maybe didn’t feel justified enough as an artist to declare. Or mayyybe I just heard him say this and it made me feel okay with painting naked boys all the time and not needing to guilty about being to indulgent.
“What we should do in life, and art, is to do exactly what one likes… when one becomes respectable, one loses that element of [the] artist… because then he is ruled by morality, and what he should do and not do.” - epic
Having said that (or having regurgitated what Bhupen said and probably butchering the meaning) I did just spend the day at the Wallace Collection. About a thousand naked ladies, mostly painted by men, got me feeling a lot more justified in my pursuit of painting boys. There were SO MANY naked women painted by men just purely for the pleasure of painting their fantasies (or maybe memories I dunno, but probs fantasies let’s be real), and when I saw them I was like ‘oooh yeah that’s what I do now, I’m the same 😩’! I did think in Boucher, there was that just felt somehow different. I don’t know why, something more consensual, I felt like I identified with the women in the paintings more than the men. Anyway zomg how did this turn into a cringey wannabe art review of some collection that you don’t understand / have the knowledge or capacity to tackle.
First day! Here’s something I drew mwah xo